N! Update :)

Greetings to everyone!
Well, it seems as if this whole blog thing has been tough to keep up with. Good thing we really haven't told many people about it. haha. Elaine and I have just been quite busy with things and have found ourselves to be somewhat preoccupied. Let's see... I don't even know where to catch everyone up on. Let's start with here:

Elaine had been living with me in my old apartment (I'll get to this later) for about two weeks or so. It was quite neat because it gave us an opportunity to test our roommate compatibility. However, this test was a bit tough because we were not only sharing the same apartment at the time, we were also sharing the same ROOM together! It brought me back to living in the dorms freshman year of college. Except she and I knew each other and nothing was ever too awkward. Yes, we are in that stage of comfortability where we can just change clothes in front of one another without feeling funny (don't get dirty thoughts now!) Then again the only time we'd change clothes like that was when we were rushed by vic and/or Abel to get dressed to leave the apartment. Which gave us no time to look at one another. We'd just grab our clothes, change in seconds, and take off. Either way, it was all well.

The 17th of August marked the day I get to finally get my crap and move into the long awaited new apartment closer to the bus stop, which meant gas conservation, and a new school year with Elaine, Crystal, and some random girl. The night before, my former roommate, Nicole, baked brownies and we all celebrated my last night in that apartment with brownies and beer. Yes, strange combination, I know. Then at 9 am on the 17th, I went to the leasing office to take care of business and get my new keys.
At first, I didn't get off to this new apartment all too well because it seemed much smaller than my old apartment. But, it was just empty. Technically I was the only person living there at the time so there were no decorations or pillows on the couches as I was used to before. I simply moved my stuff in, gathered the things I was going to use for the next few days, and went off to take my Spanish final for the second summer session, which went very well, by the way.

18th- 21st were spent in San Antonio, Texas, our hometown, to spend with our family and friends from back home before the semester began. Because once the fall semester begins, who knows when we'll be able to go back home. And that's when the craziness happened. Elaine owed money to the school and because she owed money, she couldn't register anywhere, which is stupid because the school should have told her BEFORE SHE CONTINUED ON WITH HER SUMMER CLASSES that she had 'exceeded' her aid and couldn't get any more funding. This led to her worries of what her family was going to say, and worse, how she was going to pay the surprisingly newfound debt she now owes so she can continue going to school. Now, my theory is this: this could have all been avoided had the financial aid office from that school gotten their freakin' act together and notified elaine ahead of time. If they had told her she 'ran out of funds' beforehand, she could have dropped the class and paid more attention to going to work instead of going crazy trying to make an A in a class that would eventually earn her a headache after a good grade. Sometimes the school system really pisses me off. They wait 'til the last minute to tell us these things, which eventually screws us over. and they say they're here for our better good. YEAH FUCKIN' RIGHT!

The 21st I went to the doctor and he said I don't have a tumor, my sinuses are good, and I'm not diabetic. All of which were major concerns for him, myself, and my mother- who feels she has the right to call anyone, and I mean ANYONE a diabetic haha. My sugar levels are quite high, though. But not to the point where I'm diabetic. A biiig concern now is my energy levels. I have the same energy level as that of a 60-year-old... I'm freakin' 20! And who is to blame? I'll be quick to point my fingers to college. That's right. It's all college's fault for never letting me catch a damn break. anyway, it's a possibility that this low energy is linked to my thyroid. According to Doc, the thyroid is linked to energy level and metabolism. If your energy's low, your metabolism slows down and you gain weight... which explains why I weigh 15 lbs more than my comfort zone. So now I have to take pills, a ton of vitamins, and go back to the Doc once a month for the B12 shot- which is supposed to give me energy. Doc says hopefully by november, my energy level has increased and I'll have enough to do well in school and 'boost up that GPA.' (how he knows I have a shameful gpa, I have no idea).

let's skip around a few days... which brings us to here. Today. Now. And why I feel the need to write at such a late hour. I went to this thing called Gone to Texas today. It's like some 'welcome' program intended for incoming freshman (isn't that what orientation is for?) on the night before school. I didn't go my freshman year so I decided to go today along with Elaine, Crystal (our third roommate, whom we are happy to have with us), Ruben (my boyfriend) and his friend Eric. And as the program proceeded, all I could think about was 'this is what I missed out on two years ago. This was that inch of inspiration I could have so dearly used two years ago when I felt like my world was in turmoil.' I was looking at all the freshman (some were acting retarded, HELLO YOU'RE NOT IN HIGH SCHOOL ANYMORE!) with eyes of hope, inspiration and determination- eyes that I once had before coming here. After wandering around through my life's path this past year and a half like an abandoned pup, I realized what I have been doing to myself all along. I let those eyes go and unknowingly traded them for confusion, discouragement, and disappointment. But I want to change it NOW. I know where I made the mistake. And it's time to get back into that 'whatever it takes' attitude I once had before giving it all up two years ago.

As I sit here- on my bed, in my 'bed clothing' just a few hours before having to wake up for class- I'm thinking 'Goodness gracious, I've never wanted something so badly in my life!' I'd say I'm excited. But more honestly, I'm nervous. Because I have no idea what this semester has in store for me. But I am willing... oh God am I willing... to fix myself personally, then academically, and continually. It's about time I learn from every mistake I've made these past two years. I've got the ingredients to a splendid and successful life. Great family. Amazing friends. and a wonderful boyfriend. Now it's up to me. and me, alone, to keep this going.

I'd say I'm hopeful, but I'm also realistic. It's not going to be easy. If it were easy, 'success' wouldn't have such high monetary value. With that in mind, get ready for my bitchings built upon stress. They're coming soon. haha.

Things are going to get better. Sooner or later. Hopefully sooner. Because this kind of life only comes through once.

Keep an eye out! because this is going to be a hell of a journey :)